Never My Girl (Always, Maybe, Never Book 3) Read online

  The conversation is easy as we sit around eating pie. Charlotte and Everly talk about school, Emerson, and her work at the shop. Wren and Knox talk work and baseball with Wyatt's input here and there. I focus on the large piece of pumpkin pie sitting on my plate.

  Most people don't know this about me, but I don't actually like pie. I know, I'm a crazy person. The reality is that I prefer cake. Vanilla cake with buttercream frosting and berry filling, that’s my weakness.

  When I was five, my mom made pie for my birthday, and I cried. I had asked for cake and Dad said I was being silly, and that I loved pie. But Knox knew the truth and promised he would make me a cake as soon as he was old enough. He has made me a cake every year on my birthday since. It was always our secret tradition after Mom and Dad went to bed.

  If I have to eat pie, I prefer cherry.

  “Too full for pie?” Wyatt leans froward, getting my attention.

  “It’s not my favorite.” I admit.

  “Pumpkin?”

  “Pie.” The surprise on his face is expected. “I know, I’m crazy.”

  “No.” His eyes narrow, like he’s suspicious. “Is this a trap?”

  “What?” I’m starting to think he might be the crazy one.

  “Pie isn’t my favorite either. But I don’t dare admit that in front of these guys.” He gestures to the rest of the group still lost in conversation.

  I lean into him and whisper, “How do you feel about cake?”

  “Chocolate with chocolate frosting and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.” Her lips slowly spread into a smile at my answer.

  “Vanilla with buttercream, maybe a berry filling.” This girl is anything but vanilla, though I store that information away for another time anyway.

  “What are you going to school for?” A look of surprise crosses her face, but it is quickly replaced with a smile.

  “I’m not sure.”

  “What? You’re not sure? And you’re smiling, not panicking.” Her reaction makes no sense, maybe she’s lost her mind.

  “I’m smiling because I can do whatever I want. I’m thinking something to do with education or sports science. Possibly combining the two, I haven’t totally decided yet.” She shrugs and I kind of love that she isn’t losing her mind over it. “You’re going into medicine, right?”

  “Sports medicine, only have eleven or twelve years left until I’m done.” Her eyes widen in surprise, so I elaborate. “That includes everything, the degrees, residency, and fellowship.”

  “That’s a lot. What’s the end goal?” She asks.

  “The end goal… I would say the dream is to be on the top ten list of MLB surgeons, but I’d be happy being a team trainer.”

  “I feel like those are two very different things. Why would you go through all the schooling and not be a doctor?” She asks, brows scrunched in confusion.

  “Actually, being a trainer on some levels requires a medical background to be on the preventative side of things. I’d rather be a part of the game and action than be a doctor on the sidelines. But I’ll end up in surgery eventually.” I shrug, it’s a very long-term plan.

  “That sounds awesome.” She says, reaching out and placing her hand on my arm. As if just realizing what she’s done, she pulls it back quickly.

  Not wanting to let things get weird, I turn the conversation towards her. “So, sports or education. What’s your end goal?” I repeat her question back to her and find myself really wanting to know the answer.

  “I want to work with kids, that’s for sure. But I’m not sure about teaching though unless it’s physical education or coaching. Something along those lines.” Her smile is wide as she talks about her future. I get glimpses of the girl I remember from high school.

  Before she had a reason to feel broken or less than.

  A lock of hair falls into her face and I’m mesmerized watching her tuck it back behind her ear. Her emerald green eyes peer up at me from under her long lashes, giving me another glimpse of that girl. The confident, wild, and carefree runner.

  That’s the thing about the girls who run, they’re always running from something.

  “It seems like they have it all figured out.” Sawyer says, turning her attention to the rest of the group.

  I nod my head in agreement. “Sometimes it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.” I can feel her eyes back on me, but I keep mine on my friends.

  Charlotte is laughing at something Wren said and is always within touching distance. Their love is something that will withstand the test of time. Everly and Knox have been sharing heated looks all night. I doubt it will be long before they figure it out. Like I said, those runners.

  “They have a purpose and know what their futures hold. They have each other and are creating lives together. And I have school.” I finish, not sure why I’m telling her all of this. Probably because I don’t want her to feel alone, like I have been for the last few months, the last year really.

  I knew that Everly would always find her way back to Knox. It was his baby she was having, not mine. As much as there was a time when we both wanted it to happen, we weren’t meant to be. But that doesn’t mean I will ever stop loving her.

  “Don’t forget that we are only twenty, we still have our whole lives ahead of us.” I pull my eyes away from them, the contact of Sawyer’s hand on my arm again bringing my attention back to her.

  “I’m twenty-one, but that’s true. They were just lucky to find their person to go through life with early.” It’s the truth, they are lucky to have each other, no malice or envy.

  “Do you still love her?” Sawyer’s eyes follow to where mine were only moments ago. Everly.

  “I will always love her, but not in the way you mean. Honestly, I knew they would end up together in the end. I guess with me being there it just sped things along for them.” I turn my attention back to Sawyer, who is lost in thought. Her expression hard to read.

  “Then why do it? If you knew she wouldn’t pick you, why give her your heart again and waste your time?”

  Her question stuns me for a second, then I remember just a few months ago when she was telling me to back off to give Everly and Knox a chance. But I was already out. It dawns on me that she seems to think a lot more of the relationship between Everly and I, than there really was. “It’s complicated, but we weren’t-”

  “Hey guys, how’s it going over here?” Wren interrupts as he strides over to the couch we’re sitting on. He squeezes his big athletic body in between us, separating us.

  “Fine.” Sawyer drags the word out on a laugh, scooting over to give Wren the space he needs.

  “Wyatt?” He looks at me, waiting for an answer.

  “Good, Wren. It’s all good.”

  “How are your parents?”

  “They are great, just working towards their retirement.” I take a moment to think about Henry and Josephine Matthews. I am blessed with the sweetest parents. They are older than all my friend’s parents, but they are madly in love.

  Henry and Josephine didn't grow up together, meet in high school, or even date in college. They met in grad school while my mom was engaged to the wrong guy. They were in the same business master’s program and had study groups together. Dad could see the sadness in her eyes and made it his goal to make her laugh and smile.

  She ended up marrying the other guy, and it almost ruined her life. He was abusive and controlling. The marriage only lasted a couple of years.

  They’d stayed friends after graduation and ended up working for the same company. He saw all the warning signs, but there was little he could do to help her. Until the monster put my mom in the hospital.

  My dad picked her up and took her away from it all. They found a little town, just a couple hours away from Durham and lived together as friends for a few years as she went through divorce and therapy.

  Then one day, after the divorce was final, Mom made Dad a romantic dinner and told him it was time. That she wasn’t a delicate flower that
was going to break, and she wanted to be loved the way that she deserved. She’d been waiting around on him long enough.

  I was born about nine months later.

  I guess that’s why they were so understanding about the situation with Everly and I, when I finally told them the truth. They were proud of me for stepping up, though I made sure it was clear that Knox wasn’t abusive or in the wrong. He’s just an asshole, and Everly was scared.

  “Hey, man.” Wren says, shoving at my shoulder. “We lost you there for a minute.”

  “Sorry,” I say shaking the thoughts from my head, “I guess I’m just tired.”

  “Yeah, it’s getting late. We should probably head out.” He gets up from the couch and walks straight across the room to Charlotte, placing a hand on her as soon as he is within arm’s length.

  “They are so cute together.” Sawyer is sitting in the spot Wren vacated, only inches away from me.

  I nod in agreement.

  “So, I don’t know many people in Durham or Chapel Hill, other than you and Knox. And we both know how much fun he is.” At that we both laugh. “Would you want to exchange numbers, maybe grab coffee sometimes?”

  I freeze. Of course, I want to say yes, but this is Knox’s little sister. I am already on his shit list for existing and being with Everly, though to be fair I was with her first.

  But I really like Sawyer. So, I risk it.

  “Sure, that sounds great.”

  chapter three

  “I'm glad you guys were both able to put your stubbornness aside. Though I am a little surprised the first-time you guys are on the same page, you decide to get married.”

  Knox is driving me home New Year’s Day, after I babysat last night so that he could propose to Everly. In a way, things are moving fast. But it's seems right for them.

  “It's crazy, isn't it.” He says, as a smile takes over his face.

  My eyes narrow in suspicion. My brother isn't a smiler. A smirker, maybe. A scowler, frowner, eye roller, absolutely. But the smiling is weird.

  “You’re smitten.”

  “Sawyer, I love Everly and Emerson more than anything.” He turns to me, holding my gaze for just a moment before his eyes return to the road. “I'm just lucky she loves me for the asshole we all know I am.”

  “Isn’t that the truth.” I laugh out. Truly, I’m happy for my brother and his little family.

  “She wants to get married in the next couple months.” Knox shares, which is even weirder than the smiling.

  “How do you feel about that?”

  “I think it’s great. It’s not what I was expecting when I asked her. I figured she would fight me on it.” He shrugs.

  I don’t say anything at first, just nod my head. Processing, and wondering in the back of my mind what Wyatt is going to think about the news. I’ll have to call him when I get home and give him a heads up.

  There is a huge part of me that thinks he’s in denial about his feelings for Everly. Maybe it’s my own defense mechanism. My way of keeping this distance between us, because Wyatt is the kind of guy a broken girl like myself could easily fall for.

  Ever since we exchanged numbers at Everly’s we’ve been texting regularly, even meeting up for coffee a few times. His easy going, laid back personality is refreshing. He doesn’t tip toe around me, or act like I could meltdown at any moment like my family usually does.

  “You don’t agree?” Knox asks, tearing me out of my thoughts about Wyatt.

  “What? No, I think whatever makes you guys happy is great. I mean, it seems a little soon, but with everything you guys have been through… it also feels like a long time coming.”

  “It sure is.” This time he guards his emotions a little better and I only see a hint of a smile playing at his lips.

  The rest of the drive passes in a comfortable silence. The main reason my brother and I get along so well is that neither of us enjoy talking about our feelings. Sure, keeping it all bottled inside isn’t the healthiest thing in the world, but it’s how we’re wired. Our dad is the same way, except when it comes to Mom. She just looks at him and the man will spill his guts. It’s her superpower.

  Knox and I step out of the elevator on the floor of our neighboring condos. When I came home last year, I lived with Knox in his condo for a couple of months before I decided it was time for me to move out and be on my own.

  I felt like it was time to give his space back, and I was hopeful that him and Everly would work out their issues. And maybe she would move in. That’s when he gave me a job and rented me the condo next door that he bought when he bought his. It works out well for both of us. Especially with him spending most of his time back home staying with Everly and Emerson.

  “I’m just packing a bag then heading back to Everly’s. Do you need anything before I go?” Knox asks as he keys in the code to his door.

  “No, I’m good. Give Emerson kisses for me.” I say before tapping in my own code and entering the condo.

  I’m relieved when I walk back into my own home. I love my parents, but sometimes it can be suffocating to stay with them, even just for a night. My mom always has questions, and Dad just looks at me like I’m going to fall apart at any moment. It’s been months since I’ve been home, and they still act like they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  I know that I’m to blame for that, but it doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

  I kick off my running shoes, grab a snack, and put my tea kettle on the stove before grabbing a throw blanket and getting cozy on the couch. Pulling out my phone, I scroll until I see Wyatt’s name. Pressing call, I hold the phone to my ear and listen to it ring.

  “Sawyer?”

  “Hey.” Somehow, that one word manages to sound awkward.

  “Hey, sorry. I was just surprised that you called. How was your New Year’s?”

  “Oh, it was good. I watched Emerson with my mom last night so that Everly and Knox could go out. How about you?” I start, planning on easing into the news.

  “That sounds great. I bailed on a party and fell asleep on the couch by nine.” His laugh is deep, and I picture his smiling face. Something inside of me snaps and my subconscious apparently decides to go with the 'ripping it off like a band aid' method.

  “Knox and Everly are getting married!”

  “Knox and Everly are getting married!” Sawyer yells into the phone so fast that I almost don’t catch the words.

  I chuckle, because I’m sure she thinks this news is going to cause some sort of breakdown. Or at the very least, leave me heart broken. But that’s just not the case.

  Everly called me just five minutes before Sawyer did, telling me the good news herself. Apparently, Everly is the only one that believes me when I say I'm over her.

  My phone rings from the couch cushion next to me. I look down to see Everly's name and Emerson's sweet face smiling back at me. I slide me finger across the screen, answering her call.

  “Hey, Ev.”

  “Happy New Year, Wyatt.” She says, in a chipper voice.

  “And to you too. What's up?”

  “I have news!” I pull the phone away from my ear when she squeals in excitement.

  “Ow. What is it that's got you so excited?”

  “Knox asked me to marry him.” Everly spills like she couldn’t hold it in for one more second.

  “And you said yes?” I prompt her to continue.

  “Of course.”

  “That's great, Ev. I'm happy for you guys.” And I am.

  “Thank you. I just didn't want you to find out from someone else.”

  “I appreciate that.” There’s a small pang in my chest because once upon a time I thought that might be us. It doesn’t last long. “Congratulations, Everly.”

  “Thank you, Wyatt. Someday, probably soon, you will find your girl. Don’t ask me how I know, but I just do… she is going to be everything you need and more.” Her words mean more to me than they probably should.

  “Thanks, Ev. Tell Emmy
I said hi.”

  “Will do.” Everly ends the call.

  With my phone still in hand, it starts ringing. The feeling that floods through me when I see that it’s Sawyer’s name on the screen is strong. I need to figure out exactly what that feeling is and why Sawyer is the one bringing it on.

  Pushing that feeling to the side, I answer her call.

  “Wyatt, are you still there?” Sawyer asks, her tone is full of worry and hint of irritation.

  “Yeah, I’m here. Everly actually called me just a few minutes ago to tell me.”

  “Oh. Are you okay?” I try not to be irritated by her question. I know she only means well, but it’s frustrating that everyone, mainly her, thinks I’m still hung up on Everly.

  “Sawyer, I’m fine. Honestly, I think it’s great and I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re married before summer.”

  “Really?” Sawyer questions.

  “Really.” I confirm.

  “Okay, but I’m here if you want to talk.”

  “I appreciate it, Sawyer. But I promise, I’m fine.” I reassure her, hoping it will be the end of it.

  “Do you want to hang out tonight?” Her question catches me off guard, until I realize it’s a pity invite.

  “Seriously?” I let the irritation bleed through my voice.

  “Yeah, you can come over and we’ll order in. Watch a movie?” Either she didn’t catch my tone, or she is just straight up ignoring it.

  “Is this a pity invite?”

  “No. We’ve been talking for months and haven’t actually hung out without ‘the gang’. And my brother is staying at Everly’s, so my place is safe.”

  I hesitate before answering, “Sure, let’s do it.” We’re just friends, friends can hang out without the rest of the friends. Right?

  A couple hours later, I’m riding the elevator up to the floor where both Sawyer and Knox live. She said that he already left, but I still look down the hall each way when the doors slide open. If Knox knew I was here, hanging out with his little sister. He’s tolerated me and my relationship with Everly, but I feel like this would be the tipping point for him.