Never My Girl (Always, Maybe, Never Book 3) Read online

  “Has he been physically abusive to you this whole time?” It’s a valid question. Immediately I want to answer no, but that isn’t the whole truth.

  “Not like this. It’s never been like this before.” It’s all I can give him right now before going into too much detail. Something I’m not capable of right now.

  He nods his head slowly before speaking. “Just know that we’re here, whenever you need us. Whenever you’re ready.”

  chapter one

  “Seriously, Wyatt, you need to give it up. You aren’t the guy that gets the girl. Not this girl anyways,” I say pushing open the door to Books & Beans, the coffee shop Everly used to work at. “You need to take a step back and give them a chance to be a family.”

  He grabs ahold of my arm, turning me to face him, and I stiffen at the contact. I’m not as jumpy as I used to be, and while his touch isn’t hard or punishing, unexpected contact can sometimes put me on edge.

  “I’m sorry,” He drops his hand from my arm before continuing. “It’s just - I’ve already stepped back. I really have since your brother has been back in the picture. I’m not an idiot. I see what’s there between the two of them. Everyone does, except for them, and that’s only because they’re stubborn.”

  I study him for a moment, ignoring the hustle and bustle of the coffee shop around us. He appears to be annoyed and maybe a little frustrated, but not heartbroken like I was expecting to see. Interesting. But still suspicious.

  “For the record, I’m #TeamKnox.” I tell him, making it one hundred percent clear where my loyalties lie.

  “What is this, Twilight? Because I’m kind of feeling like Jacob right now.” He retorts, causing me to laugh, and it comes straight from my belly. Then I stop when the thought occurs to me.

  “Oh my gosh. Did you read the books?”

  A look of disgust crosses his face, crinkling his deep blue eyes to slits. “No, Everly made me watch the stupid movies.”

  I laugh and can’t help smiling as a wide grin takes over his face. But talking about Everly and their past is a reminder of the bubble I have always placed him in.

  Wyatt has always been hers, going back to before they even dated. He always came to the races to watch her and they were almost as inseparable as Wren and Charlotte. Admittedly, I used to flirt with him at those races, mainly because it drove Everly crazy. But I’d never act on anything, I don’t take what isn’t mine.

  I just want my brother to be happy. I know he loves her. And I’m about ninety-eight percent sure that Everly feels the same way. They just need to allow themselves to be vulnerable with each other.

  Once Everly stops going back to Wyatt because he’s safe, maybe she will finally see what’s in front of her face. Or maybe not. She obviously didn’t see what she had when she had Wyatt either.

  I study him for a moment while he stands at the counter waiting in line for the coffees Everly ordered for her and I. He is the perfect baseball specimen, and it always driven my brother and Wren crazy that he has no intentions of pursuing a professional career in baseball.

  He’s tall and muscly in all the right places. With his arms crossed in front of him, I can see the muscles flexing and peeking out from under his t-shirt. I find myself wondering what it would feel like to have those arms wrapped around me, holding me and keeping me safe.

  “Hey, Sawyer. How are you?” Sarah, the barista beams as she looks around Wyatt to see me, interrupting my ogling of him.

  Sarah has been working at Books & Beans since we were in high school and her special drinks have always been my favorite. The concoctions she comes up with are some of the best I’ve ever had.

  “Hi, I’m actually doing great. I just became an aunt.” I’m impressed with my ability to have a conversation after the thoughts I was just having about the guy standing next to me.

  “I know,” she squeals in excitement. “Isn’t she just the cutest thing ever? I’ll have to make my way over to see mom and baby.” Sarah hands the finished coffees over to Wyatt.

  “Of course, she is. Have you seen her parents? And I’m sure Everly would love to see you.” I step forward and accept the cup Wyatt is offering.

  “Well, give her my love. You try to stop by here more often.”

  “I’ll work on that, I’m sure I’ll be around a lot more now.” Until now, I’ve managed to keep a pretty low-profile while being home. When I’m in Durham with Knox, it’s easier to get lost in a crowd, no one knows me or my story.

  Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for everyone to find out what had happened to me. Word travels fast in a small town. But, as Knox has told me many times, I can’t hide from it. The longer I avoid everyone, the more stories they’ll have time to come up with.

  “You good?” Wyatt’s voice breaks me out of autopilot, and I realize we’ve walked out of the coffee shop and towards the car.

  “Yeah, I just… I’ve been avoiding everyone for so long, worried about the questions they would ask or advice they would try to give. I guess I forgot that some people just genuinely care and are kind.”

  Woah. Where did that come from? And why was I telling him all of this?

  “We’ve got some town gossips, and a few who just want to stick their nose where it doesn’t belong. But for the most part, everyone means well. It’s best not to be too cynical about it.” He turns and gets into the car without another word.

  I’m speechless. Walking around the car I get in the passenger side, suddenly regaining my ability to speak. “I’m not cynical, I’m a realist. Number one life rule, people suck.”

  People suck.

  Sawyer thinks she’s a realist. I think she’s been hurt too many times. Despite what she might think, it hasn’t broken her.

  Sawyer is all fire, rough edges, and chaos. She’s also a mess of naturally red hair, long runner’s legs, and a compassionate heart. Because any girl who will fight for her brother’s happiness, even though that means accepting the girl who was her competition all through high school, is stronger than she thinks.

  I don’t argue with her about her view on the world, instead I silently promise to show her that not all people suck, and it’s okay to have a little hope. Looking over my shoulder, I back out of the parking space and head down the street to the diner, wondering why I care so much about what she thinks.

  When I’m parked out front, my phone buzzes with an incoming text from Wren.

  Wren: Charlotte and I made it to the hospital.

  “Charlotte and Wren are here. We should probably order more food.” I turn and tell Sawyer before she goes in to grab the food.

  “That was fast. Okay, I’ll have them throw in a couple more burgers and fries.”

  When I’m alone, I let my mind wander to my conversation with Everly just a couple of hours ago. She called me Uncle Wyatt to Emerson, her daughter, and though I’d offered to raise her as my own only months before… it felt right.

  I wasn’t there in the same capacity as I had initially planned, but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I meant it when I told her that I would always love her, but it’s not the right kind of love. Not the kind either of us deserves.

  Sawyer isn’t wrong when she talks about how Everly and Knox feel about each other. A surprise pregnancy and some bad choices on both sides just complicated their relationship or lack of one.

  I know Sawyer thought she was interrupting something when she burst into the room, interrupting our conversation. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. Whatever was between us has been done for a few months now. If anything, we were giving each other the permission to move on and be happy.

  Not to mention Emerson was laying on the bed between us and Knox was asleep in a chair only a few feet away from us.

  The passenger door shuts and brings my attention back to the present, to the girl in my passenger seat.

  “Ready?” She leans across the seat, placing the bags in the back seat without looking at me.

  “Yep.”

 
We drive back to the hospital in silence. The silence continues through the parking lot, lobby, and the elevator ride up to Everly's room. Sawyer and I have never been friends or spent more than a few hours in each other's company. Especially not alone.

  So, I'm not privy to what her silence means. I can only imagine it has something to do with the fact that she thinks I want Everly back, or maybe it's just because Sawyer and I are two very different people.

  Sawyer wants to be angry at the world, and she has every reason to be. I prefer to find the good because it's easy to get lost in the bad. It's easy to be angry and let it consume you.

  It's much harder to live and let yourself love.

  Everyone is laughing, eating, and taking turns holding Emerson. And it’s in these moments that I notice the way Knox looks at Everly while she holds their daughter or when she laughs at something someone says.

  Wren drops his hand down on my shoulder, “Charlotte is going to see her parents, wanna grab a beer?”

  “Sounds great.” I let the sarcasm bleed through. Having a beer with Wren isn’t the problem. Except that it’s code for, let’s talk. I’m not a guy that’s shut off from talking about his feelings, but I also don’t feel the need to do it nearly as much as Wren does. The guy is a teddy bear.

  We say our goodbyes and well wishes to the new parents then head straight for the bar.

  Wren is nice enough to talk about baseball and trivial stuff while allowing me to finish a beer before we get into the deep stuff.

  “So, spill it.”

  “That took a lot longer than I thought it would.” I admit.

  “You just met your first love’s baby and watched her and baby daddy making eyes at each other all night. You needed that beer. Hell, I’ll buy you a shot. Or five.”

  “Ha. I don't think your agent would appreciate that.”

  “Oh, no. All five are for you.” He shakes his head furiously. We are both strictly beer guys. Knox is the whiskey guy, and it's always Irish. “So, what happened?”

  I sigh and signal the bartender for another round. “Everly and I are just not supposed to be together.”

  “Okay. And you decided this alone?”

  “I didn't need to. There is just no chemistry between us anymore. It's familiar and comfortable, but that's all. She was my first love and being with her was everything when we were teenagers. Now, it's not the same. There is no spark.”

  As I talk through it, the words and thoughts are solidified. I already knew all of this, but sometimes saying it out loud, to someone else... it just has a different effect.

  “Huh.”

  “Huh. What?” This is always my least favorite part of talks with Wren.

  “I'm just proud of you is all.” His shit-eating, all-knowing grin makes me want to roll my eyes.

  “Let me guess, you knew all along.”

  “I know everything about everyone. Even when the rest of you don’t yet.” He jokes, then his mood turns serious. “I knew she wasn't your forever. That doesn't mean I was hoping you would fail. I just wanted you to both be as happy as possible.”

  I nod my head and drain half of the fresh beer that has been placed in front of me. “I want her to be happy. I just hate that it had to be Knox, of all people.”

  Wren laughs, “He’s good people, Wyatt. He’s good for her because he doesn’t let her run wild, and she’s good for him because she is an epic pain in his ass.”

  At that I smile because I can only imagine how her antics must drive him crazy.

  “Your girl is out there, Wyatt. It just might turn out being someone you never expected.” He says with that all-knowing grin on his face again.

  chapter two

  I'm in the kitchen helping my mom finish up her side dishes and debating how to tell her my news, when Knox and Everly walk through the door with Emerson. I slide the baking dish in the oven with every intention to hurry out to the living room to steal my niece.

  But Mom must have had the same plan because she yells over her shoulder for me to get the snacks ready as she leaves the kitchen. I pull the trays out from the fridge setting them on the counter, stealing a few crackers and getting busted when Everly walks in with a bowl and baking dish in her hands.

  “Hey, your mom sent me in to help you bring out the snacks.” She sets the baking dish on the counter and makes a sweeping motion, indicating all the snack trays my mom has prepared.

  “Great, I’ll grab the veggies and you can get the dips.”

  We make a few trips until everything is placed on the table and I can finally make a beeline for the baby.

  “Hey little munchkin.” I coo to the bundle in Mom's arms. She transfers Emerson to my arms, and suddenly the world feels just a little bit of a better place than it did before. Funny how that works.

  Mom tells Everly to come into the kitchen with her and it’s my cue to stay out here with Dad and Knox. I never had any doubt that my parents would love and accept Everly, even after everything that’s happened with her and Knox. Mostly because Knox is just like my dad, so that means Mom knows just how hard it is to deal with him.

  “How's it going at the office?” Knox asks and I’m not surprised. The man has been a workaholic since he lost baseball.

  Since the end of Everly’s pregnancy and Emerson’s birth, though, he has lessened his work schedule drastically. Which makes me feel bad about leaving, but I need to do this for myself, and I know that he understands. The trick is telling my parents.

  “Things were fine in the office this week. Hailey is as annoying as ever, same old, same old.” I say this to him as I'm watching Emerson.

  “Funny, she said the same thing about you.” Knox chuckles and sits down next to my dad while Everly heads to the kitchen.

  I just roll my eyes. I'm not sure where funny Knox came from, but he can go straight back to wherever the heck that is.

  I walk to the couch and get cozy with Emmy, who is on the verge of sleep, in my arms. I rock her back and forth, wondering if I will ever have children of my own. I love her so much, but I just don’t see myself as the motherly type. I'm probably better as the fun aunt.

  My dad motions for me to hand her over, and I do, begrudgingly. Without the distraction of Emmy, I focus on my brother. I start asking about him and Everly which grabs Dad’s attention.

  Knox ignores the questions and pretends to watch the game, then gives us some excuse about how he isn’t the only one to consider. Then he drops the bomb that he is moving back to Durham after this weekend.

  Before Dad or I can get another word in, Mom and Everly come back into the room carrying the rest of the food. Knox is on his feet and heading to the kitchen to help bring the rest of it out. Anything to avoid answering questions about their relationship.

  Dinner is mostly uneventful. Dad and Knox talk about work, Mom asks Everly a ton of questions about the house and Emerson. I choose to wait until dessert, when Dad is distracted by Mom’s pie and Everly is changing Emmy in the other room before telling them my big news.

  “So, I got accepted to UNC for the spring semester. And I got a job at a high school close to campus as an assistant track coach.” The words are out of my mouth and I quickly replace them with a bite of pie.

  Knox smiles at me across the table, he reassured me that they would be proud of me, and I hope that’s true.

  “That’s great, Sawyer. But I hope you know you will always have a job with us.” Dad says between bites of pie.

  “I appreciate that, Dad.” I try to remind myself that it’s a dad thing and he is just trying to be supportive and let me know I have something to fall back on. And not expecting me to fail.

  “I think this is a good step for you, and we will support whatever decisions you make. We love you honey.” Mom reaches across the table, placing her hand on mine. It’s everything I didn’t know I needed.

  Showing up to Everly’s house to find Knox’s lips smeared with bright red lipstick is almost comical. I sneak a glance at Wyatt, standing next
to me behind Wren as he laughs and there is no hint of hurt or jealousy. Interesting.

  Tonight’s dinner is much livelier than last night, once we move past the awkwardness of not a single person mentioning the kiss that obviously took place right before we got here. Well, it could have been more, Knox’s shirt is wrinkled, and his hair is a mess.

  It feels surprisingly nice to be surrounded by people, even if they all have their own person. All of them except for Wyatt.

  It’s been lonely living on my own and only seeing Knox at work most days. When I was with Erik, our life was always busy and surrounded by people. I usually wasn’t allowed to talk to those people, but I became used to having their presence around.

  Wren brings up my new job since he also works at the agency with my brother, during the off season. It’s not news I am ready to share with everyone quite yet, but no time like the present.

  “You’re leaving the office?” Everly is the first one to say something, obviously caught off guard, I would have thought Knox told her after last night.

  I explain to everyone that I’ve been accepted to UNC and that I will be working at the coffee shop until my assistant coaching job starts. Knox told me that I could stay at the office until then, but I need out of there.

  I am grateful for the job, but watching other people succeeding at their dreams when I blew every chance I had… it’s hard. I don’t know how Knox does it. For some reason, the idea of coaching doesn’t make me want to run in the opposite direction. I feel like I could help these kids and keep them from making the same mistakes I did.

  When we are all stuffed beyond what’s healthy, it’s time for the games to come out. Wyatt and I end up on a team together, which I assume will put us at a disadvantage because we hardly know each other. But somehow, we manage to pull through. We still lose, but not as bad I expected.

  Everly and Knox disappear into the kitchen, coming back with pie and a fresh pot of coffee. Even though we all now know about Knox loving his coffee on the verge of a diabetic shock, he still drinks it black in front of everyone. I like to think I’m somewhat normal, taking my coffee with a splash of cream.